The Thinking Woman's Diary: Being "such a girl"

"She's a typical girl. She loves shoes. She loves going shoe shopping, right in mom's closet."

-Curtis Jackson

"Quit being such a girl, Priyanka". "I am sure you would want it in pink color". "What do you know, your'e a girl". "Do girls really know about stuff?" Sounds similar? These are the annoying questions that every woman comes across in her life pretty much frequently. There is one thing called gender stereotyping which we are not really complaining about. Because the world has stereotyped the stereotyping to such an extent that anything a person says or does is attributed to everything else but his or her individuality. What I personally cannot stand is when being "such a girl" is hurled at us as an accusation or even worse, an insult. I am not talking about men alone here, women also accuse each other of well, being a woman. The fault equally lies in us too since we take offence in being called a girl.Yes, I do understand that being "such a girl" is collectively associated to being unreasonable, vain, naive and well, a pain in the ass, But it's only fair to be called those things instead of attributing bad behavior to our gender, which btw one cannot change unless you win lottery.

Well I am not a man hater to begin with, hence I would really not jot down ways where we can make "such a guy" sound extremely offensive to the menfolk. But it doesn't mean I can't. I choose not to. I repeat. I choose not to. Spending a reasonably significant amount of time with the opposite sex, I can confidently say that yes, I really know them. And honestly speaking not one trait shown by most of the men commonly has offended me or made me say "you're such a guy!". No, I would rather embrace that difference as something inherent and make it seem endearing to me instead of annoying. Yes, it's possible. And there is nothing wrong in expecting the same kind of acceptance as women! Why do we need to be like men and trash our own belief system? In terms of work, relationships or just about anything, women these days are battling a tug inside of wanting to seem like one of the men and in turn losing their individuality. Yes, there are certain things men are really good at and yes we must constantly learn from everyone around us irrespective of their gender, color, ethnicity or just about anything. But we must also not let go or demean what we really are and probably even meant to be!

In no way my post is meant to hurt or attack men.I am blessed for not having to deal with the misogynistic attitude on a regular basis or maybe people know I will screw their happiness. Either ways it doesn't affect me. All I intend to do is urge women to embrace their individuality, don't shy away from what you really feel, express it the way you want to and don't try and be something you are not. At the same time work on your flaws for a better you, not to be like someone else. So to sum everything up I have listed few instances where I have been told to quit being "such a girl" and my mind goes "F%*k you, I am one".

• Pink. Dagnabbit! No, we are not the official mascot of Pink. We like Mauve, Wine Red, Turquoise, Magenta as much as we love Pink. And if a girl is obsessed with Pink, who cares! She likes it, she can pull it off so be it! And yes we are proud of knowing and pulling off every color in the world be it in our clothes, bags, shoes or whatever! And no, Purple and Lavender are not the same colors. 
• Talking way too much. Yes, we are super expressive about everything. We love talking. We can really really talk a lot. But why shouldn't one? You mentally feel lighter and you sleep well when you have spoken where you wanted to. Simple as that. 
• Crying. No, its not a sign of weakness. No, we are not vulnerable. This can be attributed to us being expressive. We can cry out a heartbreak or an emotional movie scene. We don't know how one doesn't cry when you feel sad. It just seems difficult to us but not impossible. But why not express sorrow when you can and be done with it? 
• Being too much into bags, shoes and makeup. Why can't men make their peace with it? We find it extremely cute how guys can take superheroes and football so seriously. Why can't we be left alone the same way? And fyi, I have known men looking down upon women who are not upto the mark in terms of fashion. But women don't really care if a guy is not into any sport so why judge those women who are not interested in reading Vogue like The Bible. Let's call it double standards, shall we?
• Being told how its our job to cook. No, it's really not. The only people whose job is to cook are the ones getting paid for it. We are just way too good in it. That one difference between women and men is yet to go away. We cook with lot of love. You can't take that away from us. We do it because we want to. It's one of our ways of expressing our love and not because our place is in the kitchen. And be thankful to the women who stayed in the kitchen to cook for you making you capable enough to say such things. A man's classy fettuccine with goat cheese and summer vegetables will kick maa ke haath ka dal chawal anyday. Beat that!
• Being picky about everything. We don't like regrets! Simple. I don't wanna go home with an ivory bag and regret when I see the same one in Burgundy carried by someone else. I am not gonna defend us on how we meticulously pick the curtains and sheets for the house because end of the day, the house looks beautiful! What I do is I don't drag impatient people along and then be picky about things. That's just not cool. And I would ask women to quit doing that and shop in peace, 
• Not knowing anything about Gadgets, Cars, Technology, Worldly affairs, Wildlife, Politics and just about anything remotely intellectual. This is the shittiest thing I personally have to deal with. I have kicked ass in terms of leading a conversation in the above mentioned things better than even a group of men. Not because I am out to prove a point but all these things genuinely interests me. And I didn't know how much I enjoyed reading and exploring about these things until I actually did. So I would suggest women to go out there and explore. You never know. The girl with the perfect nail art might end up taking interest in the Stock market equally. And I would suggest men who are sarcastic towards us, to ummm, get a life?
• Not letting go. Yes, we are stubborn. Whether it means letting go something we love that is not good for us or letting go an issue that bothers us. We are bad at doing both inspite of being very well aware of how important it is. It's not because we don't have the willpower or maturity to let go, it's because we always feel there is some room for improvement or a hope of transformation. Period.
• Being bitchy. Men bitch too. We all know that. 
• Remembering every little detail. This collectively benefits both the genders. The men won't admit but we remembering everything about them and for them has helped them massively as much as it has given us ammunition to fight as well. I would suggest, less fight and more help. Cheers!

There are some more serious and regressive accusations Indian women have to deal with. I would venture that zone with a slightly more serious writing. For know, it;s all about the freedom of expression and acceptance. And if someone accuses of being a girl, always say you are proud of being one!!!!

The Thinking Woman's Diary : Wake up calls and what happens when you answer them

"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

     Chubby, spoiled, grumpy are probably the words my teachers remember when they think about me. Being one of those lucky few who could attend all the years of schooling at the same institution, I am also blessed to be remembered by all my teachers even after a decade of passing out. For other kids, it's usually the first few days of school that seem the hardest to deal with. But for me, it was first few years. I was the only kid who used to sit and cry till the very end of the day whilst sincerely doing everything the teacher asked to do. I used to miss my mother way too much. To make things worse, my poor working mother used to actually wait for almost half of the entire day outside the class so I would stop crying. But seeing her used to make me even more sad. My crying was not the usual wailing and stomping the foot. It used to be real tears of sadness. It might sound narcissistic but i was actually one of the most well behaved kids around (also read, very very cute). My relatives still swear by that! But I would just not stop crying when I was dropped off to school. So how did I cope with it? I would skip school! Yes, it sounds absolutely the worst way but that seemed the most convenient thing for me to do. I have made up excuses of having a pain in my heart to skip school. My family obviously didn't believe and made fun of my excuses but I used to physically feel that pain inside when I used to start getting ready for school. Obviously my mother had pampered me way, way too much (it's pretty evident even today) to force me into going to school. Most of my early childhood was spent in the comfort of my house with my Granny. And the rest of it was spent trying to survive the worst 7 hours of the day in school. I was one old peaceful soul who never wanted to go out and play but was super comfortable making up games in her own little space. Playing all alone. 

As I grew up and accepted the fact that I am too old to cry or be physically lifted and forcefully made to sit right inside the class so I don't run away, I also realized how lazy I was. I would never do my homework. The classwork books were incomplete. My handwriting was and still is beyond pathetic. My mother used to complete all my books. She used to hold my hand and do my homework and when I grew old enough to not do that, her hand stayed and mine moved away. My mother never complained or yelled at me because I used to surprisingly get good grades. My teachers were tired of complaining about my irregularity and laziness to my mother. They maintained one thing throughout that I am a very intelligent child but with a supremely lazy attitude towards life. My mother still feels bad about not being strict enough with me while I was growing up. I was the only child and I was genuinely very loving towards my family. And had a puppy face always ready to evade punishments. As I grew up I somehow had the arrogance of not being a conventional kid who needs to study everyday or even attend school everyday. To make things worse I transformed into this Lord of the last bench in the last 3 years of my school. I made sure I got punished everyday along with my poor friends. I was an absolute rogue who wanted to break rules and do every mischief possible in 3 years that kids had not done in 12 years. Yet, this never actually killed the smart child in me. I was one of those wonder kids who was made to skip one year of kindergarten for being too smart and well read for it. I was that notorious child in the class who never paid any attention yet knew the answer to any question that was asked. I used to give my teachers a lot of reasons to punish yet no reason to complain :)

Junior college and first 2 years of my graduation I was the female version of Sid (from Wake Up Sid, the movie guys!) Utterly spoiled, arrogant, had no clue about what life is all about. My grades dropped to below average. I didn't really have too many friends who could set me right. My mom somehow tried her best to make me a responsible person but I couldn't be just reformed. By then my friends, my family and my teachers were pretty sure I am not really going to be more than an average graduate girl. Who would lead a mediocre life and spend her mother's money. And no one really thought I would have any ambition of my own.

Fate had some other plans though. One massive blow on the academic front due to a serious personal loss bought me to the ground. The academic blow to me was so hard that I actually felt like a loser. Being average still seemed like the best I ever had. That's when I had the wake up call in my life. To understand what went wrong. To know how I need to prove a lot of people who wrote me off as a good for nothing spoiled brat. My arrogance never really left me even when I was beaten down. And even today, the one thing that brings out the best in me is my pride. Probably a wrong way to push oneself but hey, it works for me! Somehow the urge of making every person who wrote me off to appreciate me in the future made me a perfect student anyone could ever have. I used to make my own notes. Study like a maniac. I was sincerity personified. And not being a genuinely bad person at heart, even fate smiled upon me. I managed to gain a lot of respect at a place where I was practically written off as a good for nothing. And yes, I did successfully achieved what I wanted to (More on that part of my life later)

Today I am heading towards a very crucial and fulfilling arena of my life. It took me a lot of patience and hard work to get there. And by God's grace I have landed an oppurtunity that is only due to the hard work I had put in after my debacle. So yes! Everything has reasons! We must have patience and always remember that God's plans for us are far better than our own plans for us. Though I have not lost out too much in life by being complacent but yes my academic profile would have been 100 times more consistently better than it is today :) 

And what prompted this blog post was a visit to my school today. I was representing the NGO I am volunteering for. And I could see my math teacher smiling ear to ear seeing me all grown up and responsible. A child he has punished continuously for 4 years coz I sucked in math. Sadly.....very sadly, I still do....But I will change that soon :D Hopefully! :D

Now everyone can fly, without Red Bull!

With the recent event of a South Asian Airlne service (No, not that one, don’t worry) launching low cost domestic and international flights in India, I am expecting a humongous crowd flocking to it. By humongous crowd I don’t mean Dadar Station, locals will be hellish as always, no good news there. More than the mango people, I am actually expecting a Kingfisher kind of a crowd wanting to avail this on a desperate level. Why Kingfisher, you ask? It’s because we are too snooty to travel in a train and too stingy to travel by Jet Air.  Also known as the rassi jal gayi par bal nahi gaya types.  We as in I include myself as well, are such bitches and dawgs who would come up with jokes even if we are given free tickets on an Emirates or Lufthansa flight. We are so evil that we wouldn't mind paying few extra bucks to travel by Air India only to get some material for humor. And yeah, we will keep doing this. So some of the things that may happen (may okay? I didn't say will) if we go the railways way for flights.

• We will have to start booking for our 2016 flights now. I mean right now.
• We will have 10027 Mumbai-Delhi Up and 10026 Delhi-Mumbai Down flights.
• The only choice of seats would be Cramped up at a window, Cramped up at aisle, Cramped up at middle. (This is coming from a 5’10” girl).
• There will be a Ladies and Senior citizen quota that will not make a difference.
• There will be a Tatkal service that will bring out the Hulk in every Bruce Banner out there.
• And the inner Hulk will smash the keyboard at least once when Makemytrip and Cleartrip will show Service Unavailable after logging in.
• There is a bright possibility of seeing WL2366/WL997 and feeling flabbergasted as to why would someone book after WL100? Height of optimism.
• Travel booking portals will give 50 Rs off on domestic flights and lodges coupons. And still terms and conditions would apply.
• We will be able to successfully book your ticket after investing  5 hours, One pack of Marlboro Lights and a bottle of Old Monk.
• No boarding passes for Wait Listed passengers. They will have to do jugaad with the Airline counter at the airport.
• Instead of tags, we will get stickers sponsored by Bank of India or Vicco
• There will be no limit to check-in baggage, because they are aware that even if they set a limit, we will still carry bags big enough to fit our grandparents inside for a one week trip.
• No limit to cabin baggage as well to allow every passenger to smack the faces of the seated aisle passengers with their big ass bags.
• We will be asked to reach at least 10 minutes before the plane leaves the runway. Those 10 minutes are allotted to buy Bisleri and Filmfare from the aerobridge before we board.
• We will be allowed to carry Milton water coolers and Ludo board game.
• For security checking, there will only be one metal detector present and we can choose whether to walk through to it or not. We are all good people. The plane people know it.
• Once we board our economy level flight of economy flights, we will be greeted by nobody.
• We will hear Khoya Khoya Chand lounge music inside the cabin, or if we are in luck, Hotel California.
• If we manage to get a window seat, a shameless pot bellied uncle would be already sitting there thinking jab aayega tab dekhenge, abhi baith jaata hu.
• If we are sitting near the emergency exit i.e. Apatkalin Dwar, the stewardess will not come and tell us what to do. Because the window will be red with a glass case for a hammer next to it. The hammer would be missing to scare the daylights out of us.
• Once everybody settles in their seats, there will be one stewardess wearing leggings and kurta giving safety instructions.
• The stewardess will give the safety instructions in the regional language. Like, Tumcha seat cha khaali aani varti kaahich naahi. Oxygen level zar kami jhala tar vitthalache nav ghya  OR Ee flight vellathil mungya guruvayurappane villikka, seatinde adiyil jacket onnum illya. Pinne belt ketti vekka, namade pilot number one kudiyan aanu.
• The seat belts would be made of Velcro.
• The stewardess will actually end the safety instructions with this joke “Aage do dwaar, peeche do dwaar, dono nahi khule, toh Haridwar” and then wink at us.
• We shall be asked to switch off our cell phones and all other devices. We will still sneakily use it because nobody will give a damn.
• The flight will take off 30 minutes late and the lavatory will have a queue outside even on the shortest 35 minutes Mumbai-Pune flight.
• In the back of our seat pockets there will be a brochure of airlines with a “wide selection of refreshments” priced 2 Rs less than the M.R.P of course. We can have bread butter and bread jam with tea, coffee and rasna sponsored by Kissan. Meals will be sponsored by Anand Bhavan. Lassi and Chhas by Amul.
• Once you are done the stewards will come to you with Rajnigandha and a tray full of tips that they had put themselves to get the ball rolling.
• The flight will land 30 minutes late by default because it will be last carrier to get the landing permission. We may also have to walk at the runway a little because it may not exactly stop near the aerobridge.
• And lastly, there will be a fleet of attendants who would fling your bags at you from the base of the plane because the stoppage is only for 10 minutes.

Either ways it's going to make travelling easy for impatient weirdos like me who cannot sit quietly for more than an hour. Because you know, Banglaore-Goa for Rs 990 is not bad at all! Too bad this is after the goafest (sorry Indian Madmen).

P. S. If I have offended someone in this post then my job here is done.

Laters!

Why I would rather die than live in this country as a woman....

I am appalled. I am pissed off. I am in tears. The recent Guwahati incident has exacerbated my dormant rage against chauvinistic and sick men in our country. Not that feminism is a new thing for me, those who know me personally are aware of how strong minded and independent I am.  Time and again I have stood up for myself, friends, family and acquaintances sadly attracting the hate from men. Not that I have ever said women are superior to men, all I am saying treat us equally and humanly.

Rape and molestation has become an everyday thing for us. We read it in the headlines, on almost every third page of the newspaper depending on the proximity of the incident. We are helplessly seeing husbands raping their wives, father raping their daughters, infants as old as couple of days old being raped by sick men, women as old as 80 year old being raped by sick bastards, friends gang raping girl who agreed to have an evening out with them, teachers molesting students who are expected to bestow the wealth of education, doctors raping patients, women in labour i.e. in the most painful and vulnerable moment of her life being molested by doctors, women molested in their work place by superiors taking away the right to be independent and infinite number of shocking incidents. Women are asked not to step out of the house after 7, so what about the rape incidents occurring in broad daylight? What if the protectors turn attackers? What can a woman do in this case? The recent Khap Panchayat decision on banning cell phones and love marriages for women has enraged me to no end. Why can’t she have a cell phone? So that she can’t call for help when 10 men are molesting her? Why can’t she have a love marriage? So that she can be raped by her father in law and 10 other men when she marries a man she hardly knows? The woman will wear whatever she wants. If a women dressing provocatively is an invitation to rape so why aren’t men who are scantily dressed also raped?  And are you saying an infant raped and killed was wearing a cocktail dress or the dalit woman raped and set ablaze was in a 2-piece bikini??? Blaming a woman’s decency for rape is just like blaming the dead man’s provocation for murder. If the rapists were provoked, so were the murderers right? IT IS THE SAME THING. One kills the body and other kills the soul. That is the only difference.

Right from the time a girl is born in our country, she is considered as a liability. Her dowry and marriage expensed drive people in our country to kill them even before she is born or in most of the cases after she is born. Babies as old as a couple of hours are left to die in garbage cans. They are thrown away from hospital windows. The dowry deaths are still prevalent in our country. After marriage, a girl changes her name, leaves her family, goes to a new place, takes up the responsibility of the in laws and still they want money from her??? Why the hell does the girl’s family need to give money? Ladki bhi do aur paisa bhi?  Brides abandoned on the wedding day for dowry is a common thing in our country. Stop giving and taking dowry. The worse could happen is that the girl will happily stay in her parent’s house for a longer time but she will eventually find a groom and not a money hungry trader. Why? Why can’t people join hands and make weddings as a joyous occasion depicting union of two people than a filthy display of wealth for insignificant ill-wishers which makes the family of the girls a scapegoat? Why? According to the NCRB, approximately 6,000 women are killed in India every year because of dowry. Unofficial estimates are as high as 15,000 deaths a year. In other words, between 16 and 40 women die every day because of dowry.

The girls are not fed properly in certain parts of our country. Can you believe that? This is the sad truth of families that make young girls work like maids so that they don’t put on weight and stunt their growth. The fact that women are objectified on the basis of their looks is bringing down super confident and talented women. The obsession with fair skin in our country is putting millions of dusky women into depression.  Why? Aren’t dusky women beautiful? Is a woman only beautiful if she is reed thin and fair? Then why don’t you go buy a mute mannequin from a store and marry her. That’s what the chauvinistic men want, right? Fairness cream ads, anorexic models, weight loss stories, correcting imperfections of your body and face, anti aging products, endowment and reduction packages, and what not. Why? Never seen men being objectified like this? Age makes women old and men mature? Why? Women must themselves have the confidence to chuck off people from their lives who objectify them and be happy with the grace and womanhood she is blessed with.

A strong confident girl is brought down time and again by her brothers, uncles, friend and even her own father. Why? Why can’t men accept the fact that a girl can be intellectually gifted, she can also have business acumen, she can also be a gadget freak, she can also be creative, she can be funny and hell yeah, she IS smart. I have personally been offended time and again by men for being blunt and honest. If men make objectionable jokes they are funny, but if women make such jokes they are supposed to be teased and hit on.  Ambitious and confident women have been bombarded with statements like dekho yaar job hi karlo agle kuch saal mein toh shaadi karni hogi na, ghar ke kaam seekh lo pehle warna sasural mein kaise rahogi, tumhaara toh pati hi tumhe theek karega, tum ghar par rehke bachhe sambhaalo paise main kamaaunga, tumhe naukri/padhaai ki kya zarurat hai pati/pita kama toh rahe hai, and loads of other sentences. I will not buy the fact that these thoughts belong to the rural population of India since every woman I know has faced chauvinism at some point of time in her life.  Stand up for yourself girls. Don’t get bogged down by these chauvinistic remarks. 

Official statistics collaborated Pan India in 2010

Rape Victims

There were 22,193 victims of Rape out of 22,172 reported rape cases in the country. 8.9% (1,975) of the total victims of rape were girls under 14 years of age, while 16.1% (3,570) were teen aged girls (14-18 years). 57.4% (12,749) were women in the age-group 18-30 years. 3,763 victims (17.0%) were in the age-group of 30-50 years while 0.6% (136) over 50 years of age.

Offenders were known to the victims in as many as 21,566 (97.3%) cases. Parents / close family members were involved in 1.3% (288 out of 21,566) of these cases, neighbours were involved in 36.2% cases (7,816 out of 21,566) and relatives were involved in 6.2% (1,344 out of 21,566) cases.

Kidnapping & Abduction

These cases have reported an increase of 15.7% as compared to previous year (25,741).

Dowry Deaths

These cases have increased by 0.1%over the previous year (8,383).

Torture (Cruelty by Husband & Relatives)

Torture cases in the country have increased by 5.0% over the previous year (89,546).

Molestation

Incidents of molestation in the country have increased by 4.9% over the previous year (38,711).

Sexual Harassment

The number of such cases has decreased by 9.5% over the previous year (11,009).

Immoral Traffic

Cases under this Act have registered an increase of 1.0% during the year as compared to the previous year (2,474).

Dowry Prohibition Act

The cases under this Act have decreased by 8.3% as compared to the previous year (5,650).

In India, according to National Crime Records Bureau's i.e. NCRB in 2005 Crime Clock, there is,

§  1 crime committed against women every three minutes

§  1 molestation case every 15 minutes

§  1 sexual harassment case every 53 minutes

§  1 kidnapping and abduction case every 23 minutes

§  1 rape case every 29 minutes

While you are reading this article, crimes are committed on at least 3 women, one woman has been molested, one woman has been abducted and one woman has been raped in India.

And those are only the reported and recorded statistics. What’s more,

§  Four out of 10 women in India have experienced violence in the home.

 §  45% of women have suffered at least one incident of physical or psychological violence.

§  26% have experienced   at least one moderate form of physical violence.

 §  More than 50% of pregnant women have experienced severe violent physical injuries.

These are the official statistics and the crimes against women are highly unreported in our country.

The state wise accountability for crime against women is shocking.  The websites below have a detailed account of state wise crime frequency occurring in a country that is lovingly referred as Bharat Mata. 

Statistics courtesy: http://www.wikigender.org/index.php/Crime_against_Women_in_India,_2010

http://infochangeindia.org/women/backgrounder/violence-against-women.html

I hope this is passed on to every individual out there who is unaware of the atrocities over women in this country and still believes women are worshipped in India.

When to say goodbye....

The 6 kinds of people you should say mentally goodbye to.....

This post is a random thought that popped up into my mind late night....I have seen people holding on to entities which causes immense pain to them...With saying good bye I don’t mean be a loner, get rid of acquaintances, friends and family and go all out. All I mean is learning to look beyond such circumstances and not include them in your beautiful life...All I can say is learn when to say goodbye....

      1.       Those who constantly demand perfection from you, could be anyone, friend, family or spouse. The family is generally guilty of this folly, though not literally guilty. They don’t respect your opinions, your creative horizons or your individuality. I say, who cares!!! In the end you will be questioned only if your ventures are not a success...Nobody will bother how you succeeded, in any sphere of life, be it love, career or studies. No matter what you do they have a sarcastic remark or a smirking face? You did enough...still not good enough...??? Just say goodbye....

      2.       Those people, who are simply narcissists, can get really annoying. They can be so full of themselves that they never notice that you exist anywhere in their life. The only reason you are in their life is because THEY need you and THEY want you. This person could be anyone in your life...in any of your arenas of life...You are never taken into account for this person.  It’s me me me me me...never you??? Just say goodbye...

      3.       The opportunists are the ones that can be easily recognized but not easily got rid of. These people will know how to use you and every person they meet in some or the other way possible. Just look out for them when you need them and they simply vanish. Once they have got every bit of utility out of you, their job is done leaving you feel used and fooled.  Learn to say a firm NO. Recognize such people and avoid them the sweetest way possible...Just say goodbye...

      4.       Those people who take you for granted because you love them and they know it. These are the worst kind of people. I swear. Worst part is they exist everywhere. They not only hurt your feelings but also bring down your moral. They know you’re never going to leave them, say no to them or talk back to them. This is the best weapon one can use. They treat you like a doormat. They ensure your confidence goes down and you feel horrible about yourself...Give them a surprise...Just say goodbye...

      5.       The negative energy carriers, if spotted anywhere, just run miles away from them.  They are insecure, incompetent and simply not worth your time. They are such party poopers I tell you. These are the kind of people who not only say my glass is half empty, but they also say that I am so unlucky that I got a half empty glass of water that i should probably fill poison in it and drink it. RUN !!!  JUST  SAY GOODBYE!!!

     6.       The players and liars, usually they wreck your faith in love.  These people are by far the most dangerous people ever. They gain control over your mind and then play around with it. You can’t live with or without such a person. They lie, they hide their feelings or masquerade their true self from you. Keeping you guessing and forever on the edge is a worst thing you can do to someone. The moment you decide to walk away they pull you back and push you back in the same pit with complete disregards for your feelings.  Just pull yourself together and walk away even if it hurts like hell...Just say goodbye...

My doll now heading to her dollhouse :)

So just a few days to go for the big day, my little doll must be busy pampering herself. I remember the overwhelming walk we had, where I told you that I will write and say whatever I want because I am very bad at expressing myself in person. I did it only because I didn't want to cry thinking how much I am gonna miss you. Our friendship began in the most unexpected way. We never really expected that we were gonna hit off so well. But we did. And HOW!!!!! 

With you, Raju Uncle and Anju Aunty around, I never really missed home. The homesickness just disappeared with all of you around and I found a big sister in you. I knew how I used to just wait to get home from college so I could go for a walk with you. The chocolate bars we shared on the late night walks will forever keep these memories sweet and special. We never rally walked, we just talked. TALK TALK and TALK. It was amazing how we could never run out of things to talk about. And the longest silence that we had was of 2 minutes when I had a lump in my throat thinking when are we gonna go out for walks again. 

You stood by some of the real bad times of my life. When I had no one to understand what I am going through. I remember breaking into giggles when you tried to say say something serious because darling, NOBODY can ever take you seriously. You are that cute. I felt at ease, I felt at home with you. This is only way I can sum up to what I feel for you.

Coming to the good times, oh there are just so many. I mean I can't really count. The girly talks and giggles we had. The Amul Chaas walk in the summers. The chocolate hunts every time we had to discuss something important. The CAD B escapades to give into chocolate cravings. The late night walks. The goose incident that scared the daylights out of you. The countless lunches and dinners we had. How my driving freaked you out initially. The little shopping trips we had. The handicrafts place you took me to. The bhel chowk trips. The movies we saw. The french fries smuggling we did. The little picnic at my place. The midnight masala bhaat I made that you loved (I am still trying to make it the same way, probably it was one special time for you) The yummy sandwich you made. It's just countless Dee. I am so gonna miss everything. It's all just going to be etched as my special years in Pune with you :) (I am almost gonna cry now)

I can't begin to say how happy I am for you. I wish you all the happiness and success in your future endeavors. I know I am gonna miss u like crazy, even more when I move out of Pune, coz then I will really not know when I am gonna see you. But more than anything I am super excited and happy for the beautiful life you are gonna begin with Jiju. You make a wonderful couple and I wish God bestows all his blessings on both of you. Cheers !!!!!!

P.S DO NOT mention this post when I am gonna be there for your wedding. Coz I have promised myself I am not gonna cry :'(

When I saw the God of Music and the God of Cricket

One thing that u should know about me is that I am the last person to be star struck. I will not even take the pains of getting up from my seat and leaning out of the window if there is a film star calling out to me :D Exaggeration but somewhat true :P But yes, there are people I admire from the bottom of my heart for their sheer talent and intelligence. People mainly behind the camera are the real stars for me. A R Rahman is what music is for me. Almost all his tracks are there in a playlist in my phone. Songs come and go but a Rahman track stays put. No matter how old it is. So you can guess how crazy I am about Mr Rahman. His humility is what won my heart. A man of his stature and fame is so humble about his achievements. Its just unbelievable. So, in the middle of my semester exam, taking utmost pain of travelling, spending one entire day for this and then burning the midnight oil next day for the exam. I did it all. I did it all for the A R Rahman Concert on 26th may at D Y Patil Stadium, Mumbai, organized by The Times of India Group. And my oh my, it was all worth it :) But my exam was not good (It was all out of course and I was so sad).

The way to the stadium was one heck of a journey. Nerul never looked so crowded. It looked like the entire city was there for the concert. Once the traffic woes ended, there were about 8-9 gates. Somehow me and mom managed to reach our seats. The summer in Mumbai definitely kills you. Specially kills me because staying in Pune most of the times, I am absolutely used to a non humid weather. Anyways, I am gonna list down stuff I loved and also the stuff I loathed about the concert.

One remarkable thing I noticed, that the ushers and the security professionals were surprisingly efficient with the impatient and mammoth sized crowd. There was no chaos or confusion. Moving on to the concert, it began about half an hour late than it was scheduled which was perfectly okay. I was expecting a delay of good couple of hours. That shows how professional the event organizers and the artists are. Ranjit Barot started with the drums and then came Mr A R Rahman. He sent the audience in a tizzy with his Nadaan Parindey track along with the awesome Mohit Chauhan ,which was followed with his other hit numbers from Rockstar, Tum Ho and Jo Bhi Main. Karthik was the surprise package who sang Roja Jaaneman and Hosanna in his amazing versatile voice. (I am absolutely head over heels in love with him). The one singer I was looking forward the most was Javed Ali. Oh man, he has the most soulful and soothing voice ever. He belongs to the genre of singers like Mohd Rafi, Sonu Nigam and Shafqat Amanat Ali. Javed Ali sang the sufi numbers along with Mr Rahman and some of his hit tracks. Harshdeep Kaur won hearts with the Katiya Karoon track. Natalie Luccio, a very talented Canadian-Italian singer sang beautifully alongside Mr Rahman. The concert ended with the electrifying Sadda Haq track uniting the audience and curtains came down with the the Vande Mataram track. Amazing professionalism portrayed by all the artists, ensuring their good three hours on the stage was well spent.

The OMG moment of the concert was when THE Sachin Tendulkar walked up the stage to greet A R Rahman. The whole stadium was roaring and cheering for him. He could barely even start talking and the audience almost deafened the stadium with applause. That was the most unforgettable moment ever. To be honest he just stole the show and Mr Rahman's thunder.

The things I hated about the concert was firstly, there was no host. I mean not even someone to introduce the singers from AR Rahman's troupe. That was just so unfair and disappointing. There were people who had no idea who Javed Ali is. It's just unfair to expect the audience to know everyone who is performing. A hardcore fan like me couldn't recognize few of the artists. That was just plain irresponsible. I mean the concert started abruptly and Mr Rahman came out of nowhere and started singing. And so did the other singers. It was utterly disrespectful towards the artists who are giving their best on the stage. 

Secondly, in the middle of the show they had shown the credits, which prompted many people to leave the show. I mean it's the common perception of people that credits only means the end of a show. Once the credits ended, the show resumed. That was just stupid. Plain stupid. 

Anyways, I had fun and sang along loudly to all my favorite songs. I can't resist okay???  Now getting back to my exams!!!! Bye Bye for now!!!!

GYM- A tale of the freak and the feeble

Obviously I have only been to the gyms that are either unisex or for women only so I have no idea about the men’s gyms. Once you reach a gym, you ensure to look your best and have a super confident aura about yourself. At the lobby you ask a pleasant beautiful lady for different weight loss programs and she suggests pehle aapka weight dekhle??? Then you tread slowly towards the weighing scale with a heavy heart regretting every ounce of cheese and every sip of cola you didn’t refuse. And then bang, the lobby ki item makes a scary face. She takes you back to the lobby and convinces you to go for an expensive package by telling you how badly you need it. Then you see how the money goes flying to their accounts coz you weren’t disciplined.  Crap!!!!

And then there is s session with a nutritionist where your diet is ripped apart. Grain by grain you note down what you eat. She makes a face for everything you love and asks you to quit it. Once you are done you go home and start the “diet”. First day seems really easy trust me. You shun all the carbs and sweets from you fridge, later realising it’s already in your tummy :D You start hunting for Quaker oats, green tea, skimmed milk, flak seeds and green vegetables all over your neighbourhood supermarkets. These things are necessary for a balanced diet for losing weight.

Next comes the first day of your work out. You walk in like a legend with your track pants, tee and a new pair of shoes. A full sipper of water and a towel hoping you will sweat like hell. You look out for your trainer, he comes and greets you with a warm smile and asks start kare? Your enthusiasm is at peak, you walk inside the gym area. He asks you to do some warm up first. Easy na? Then you start with cardio, not a problem at all (btw the music makes it so much fun). Once you are walking, your mind wanders and you look around. You see a very fit girl running with her ear phones on, you look away cursing yourself. You look again, you see a very fat aunty sweating profusely and walking on the treadmill. Feeling good about yourself you look around more. There are cute guys doing weights which distracts me the most actually :D Then you get inspired and focus a little more in your workout.  There is a weird rowing machine which looks absolutely stupid to me. I hated it the most. You look like you are rowing a boat in a dry lake and paying money for it. The cycle is fun and the stepper is the best, it burns calories the fastest. Then there are some uncles running like freaks. Looking at them you feel probably they had tortured hamsters in their previous birth and they are paying for it now.

The weights are the scariest part of working out. Some instruments knock the daylights off you.  There are about 39 types of workout types. I don’t remember any of them. Some machines make u sit in weird embarrassing postures. And those squats, you can so not get them right without embarrassing yourself. T he mat you lie down on is not meant to relax for more than 170 seconds. Unlike most of the people, I absolutely love doing crunches :P but u can’t feel u have an abdomen after a couple of hours still...I LOVE IT!!! And btw that big ball is not meant to play “catch catch” with (I was so disappointed).  After the weight session you have to sign your record with the trainer, my sign is actually nothing like what I signed with my post-workout-numb-with-pain hands. Once you are done with this you go home and relax. You feel I am already thin yaar, gym works. And then.......the pain.....your limbs get stuck up, they can’t move. You start walking like a lame funny duck. You have to explain everyone what is wrong with you and then everybody laughs at you *wipes away tears*. You go back to your trainer in the next session, he asks you the exact locations of pains and says pain hona chahiye nahi toh weight loss kaise hoga and all you feel like doing is punching him.

Okay so I am not a gym freak...neither am I a lazy log....I am one of those moderately active people who can enjoy a good diet and works out regularly at home....

So I quit the gym long back and still losing weight in my own way.  Some get used to the pain and discipline themselves. Addiction to the gym is unexplainable. You gradually lose weight and get inspired with all the compliments you get. Some even follow your diet and start joining your gym. All this happened with my mom not me * evil grin*. So I dedicate this post to my MOM!!!! Three cheers for my her!!!