Why I would rather die than live in this country as a woman....

I am appalled. I am pissed off. I am in tears. The recent Guwahati incident has exacerbated my dormant rage against chauvinistic and sick men in our country. Not that feminism is a new thing for me, those who know me personally are aware of how strong minded and independent I am.  Time and again I have stood up for myself, friends, family and acquaintances sadly attracting the hate from men. Not that I have ever said women are superior to men, all I am saying treat us equally and humanly.

Rape and molestation has become an everyday thing for us. We read it in the headlines, on almost every third page of the newspaper depending on the proximity of the incident. We are helplessly seeing husbands raping their wives, father raping their daughters, infants as old as couple of days old being raped by sick men, women as old as 80 year old being raped by sick bastards, friends gang raping girl who agreed to have an evening out with them, teachers molesting students who are expected to bestow the wealth of education, doctors raping patients, women in labour i.e. in the most painful and vulnerable moment of her life being molested by doctors, women molested in their work place by superiors taking away the right to be independent and infinite number of shocking incidents. Women are asked not to step out of the house after 7, so what about the rape incidents occurring in broad daylight? What if the protectors turn attackers? What can a woman do in this case? The recent Khap Panchayat decision on banning cell phones and love marriages for women has enraged me to no end. Why can’t she have a cell phone? So that she can’t call for help when 10 men are molesting her? Why can’t she have a love marriage? So that she can be raped by her father in law and 10 other men when she marries a man she hardly knows? The woman will wear whatever she wants. If a women dressing provocatively is an invitation to rape so why aren’t men who are scantily dressed also raped?  And are you saying an infant raped and killed was wearing a cocktail dress or the dalit woman raped and set ablaze was in a 2-piece bikini??? Blaming a woman’s decency for rape is just like blaming the dead man’s provocation for murder. If the rapists were provoked, so were the murderers right? IT IS THE SAME THING. One kills the body and other kills the soul. That is the only difference.

Right from the time a girl is born in our country, she is considered as a liability. Her dowry and marriage expensed drive people in our country to kill them even before she is born or in most of the cases after she is born. Babies as old as a couple of hours are left to die in garbage cans. They are thrown away from hospital windows. The dowry deaths are still prevalent in our country. After marriage, a girl changes her name, leaves her family, goes to a new place, takes up the responsibility of the in laws and still they want money from her??? Why the hell does the girl’s family need to give money? Ladki bhi do aur paisa bhi?  Brides abandoned on the wedding day for dowry is a common thing in our country. Stop giving and taking dowry. The worse could happen is that the girl will happily stay in her parent’s house for a longer time but she will eventually find a groom and not a money hungry trader. Why? Why can’t people join hands and make weddings as a joyous occasion depicting union of two people than a filthy display of wealth for insignificant ill-wishers which makes the family of the girls a scapegoat? Why? According to the NCRB, approximately 6,000 women are killed in India every year because of dowry. Unofficial estimates are as high as 15,000 deaths a year. In other words, between 16 and 40 women die every day because of dowry.

The girls are not fed properly in certain parts of our country. Can you believe that? This is the sad truth of families that make young girls work like maids so that they don’t put on weight and stunt their growth. The fact that women are objectified on the basis of their looks is bringing down super confident and talented women. The obsession with fair skin in our country is putting millions of dusky women into depression.  Why? Aren’t dusky women beautiful? Is a woman only beautiful if she is reed thin and fair? Then why don’t you go buy a mute mannequin from a store and marry her. That’s what the chauvinistic men want, right? Fairness cream ads, anorexic models, weight loss stories, correcting imperfections of your body and face, anti aging products, endowment and reduction packages, and what not. Why? Never seen men being objectified like this? Age makes women old and men mature? Why? Women must themselves have the confidence to chuck off people from their lives who objectify them and be happy with the grace and womanhood she is blessed with.

A strong confident girl is brought down time and again by her brothers, uncles, friend and even her own father. Why? Why can’t men accept the fact that a girl can be intellectually gifted, she can also have business acumen, she can also be a gadget freak, she can also be creative, she can be funny and hell yeah, she IS smart. I have personally been offended time and again by men for being blunt and honest. If men make objectionable jokes they are funny, but if women make such jokes they are supposed to be teased and hit on.  Ambitious and confident women have been bombarded with statements like dekho yaar job hi karlo agle kuch saal mein toh shaadi karni hogi na, ghar ke kaam seekh lo pehle warna sasural mein kaise rahogi, tumhaara toh pati hi tumhe theek karega, tum ghar par rehke bachhe sambhaalo paise main kamaaunga, tumhe naukri/padhaai ki kya zarurat hai pati/pita kama toh rahe hai, and loads of other sentences. I will not buy the fact that these thoughts belong to the rural population of India since every woman I know has faced chauvinism at some point of time in her life.  Stand up for yourself girls. Don’t get bogged down by these chauvinistic remarks. 

Official statistics collaborated Pan India in 2010

Rape Victims

There were 22,193 victims of Rape out of 22,172 reported rape cases in the country. 8.9% (1,975) of the total victims of rape were girls under 14 years of age, while 16.1% (3,570) were teen aged girls (14-18 years). 57.4% (12,749) were women in the age-group 18-30 years. 3,763 victims (17.0%) were in the age-group of 30-50 years while 0.6% (136) over 50 years of age.

Offenders were known to the victims in as many as 21,566 (97.3%) cases. Parents / close family members were involved in 1.3% (288 out of 21,566) of these cases, neighbours were involved in 36.2% cases (7,816 out of 21,566) and relatives were involved in 6.2% (1,344 out of 21,566) cases.

Kidnapping & Abduction

These cases have reported an increase of 15.7% as compared to previous year (25,741).

Dowry Deaths

These cases have increased by 0.1%over the previous year (8,383).

Torture (Cruelty by Husband & Relatives)

Torture cases in the country have increased by 5.0% over the previous year (89,546).

Molestation

Incidents of molestation in the country have increased by 4.9% over the previous year (38,711).

Sexual Harassment

The number of such cases has decreased by 9.5% over the previous year (11,009).

Immoral Traffic

Cases under this Act have registered an increase of 1.0% during the year as compared to the previous year (2,474).

Dowry Prohibition Act

The cases under this Act have decreased by 8.3% as compared to the previous year (5,650).

In India, according to National Crime Records Bureau's i.e. NCRB in 2005 Crime Clock, there is,

§  1 crime committed against women every three minutes

§  1 molestation case every 15 minutes

§  1 sexual harassment case every 53 minutes

§  1 kidnapping and abduction case every 23 minutes

§  1 rape case every 29 minutes

While you are reading this article, crimes are committed on at least 3 women, one woman has been molested, one woman has been abducted and one woman has been raped in India.

And those are only the reported and recorded statistics. What’s more,

§  Four out of 10 women in India have experienced violence in the home.

 §  45% of women have suffered at least one incident of physical or psychological violence.

§  26% have experienced   at least one moderate form of physical violence.

 §  More than 50% of pregnant women have experienced severe violent physical injuries.

These are the official statistics and the crimes against women are highly unreported in our country.

The state wise accountability for crime against women is shocking.  The websites below have a detailed account of state wise crime frequency occurring in a country that is lovingly referred as Bharat Mata. 

Statistics courtesy: http://www.wikigender.org/index.php/Crime_against_Women_in_India,_2010

http://infochangeindia.org/women/backgrounder/violence-against-women.html

I hope this is passed on to every individual out there who is unaware of the atrocities over women in this country and still believes women are worshipped in India.