Review of The Xposé :- Violation of your Intellectual Property

P.S. Himesh gave the music, story, money and the sex appeal to this movie. Which means he was pregnant with this movie and when the movie came out, so did the extra flab.

Irrfan Khan enters on a melancholic note in a deserted theater. Breaking away from all stereotypes his name is Alec and he wears a fedora. He looks stoned and broke. That’s all you need to you know about him. In a Mumbai autowaala se bhi worst accent, he goes back in 1968 where a heroine in a red dress is pushed off a building. Cut to her funeral scene where the characters are introduced one by one. The good cop bad cop/ aadhi nangi and puri nangi heroines, Sonali Raut and Zara Afroz respectively. They are roomies and they both hate each other. This is news that 2 girls don’t get along. Some generic aunty is the landlord/manager/caretaker to the good girl once she moves to the bungalow. Next in line is the director himself Anant Mahadevan who plays, guess? A director! Collectively shaming all the directors both dead and alive, Anant Mahadevan is a South import who makes it big (no pun intended) in Bollywood. Then enters our very own Blues/Jazz/Dandiya crooner...Himess Bhai!!  He plays an anorexic cop (lolmax). Like every Bollywood cop he wears a fake black Ray Ban aviator. But hey, he wears it at night, during rains, inside the police station and maybe even when he poops. He has serious temper issues and is known as the “paagal of the police peepals”. We all agree to half of that sentence. He holds a cigarette but doesn't smoke it. Bola na, paagal hai!  He gets suspended from shooting an MLA (kejru alert) coz Gussa aa gaya tha. So after only one and half years in jail he is set free. And for some reason Anant signs him up for a movie. So the mad cop, who refers to raja ka nanga beta to declare his grandeur, is transformed into Blue blazer-Yellow Pants-Rainbow Aviators-Tamil puking actor. Cut to a couple of insignificant people who I don’t feel like writing about. Then enters, the man himself, torch bearer for Delhi NCR, mascot of all the Gurgaon boys you ever wanted to slap the shit out of, Mr One-Yo-is-not-cool-enough-so-I-have-two-Yos-in-my-name Honey Singaaaaa. Unlike his songs, here in the movie, there is no statuary warning issued that he is present so you can run away. He is a lecherous looking music composer notorious for selling same tunes to different directors or as we popularly know, Anu Malik.  Jesse Randhawa plays his girlfriend who makes parallel cinema. She is dusky, tall and her hair is cropped so you believe this parallel cinema has to be an intellectual thing she does.  Then, enters a baniya looking cop in the next scene who says heroine ko dhakka maara hai, it’s a murder. Thank you for telling us, we were assuming she was measuring the height of the building by jumping down with a tape. The story begins by a collage of all these annoying turd faces into a single frame, which secretly means one of them is the killer.

Himesh Bhai has a sautela bhai who did him wrong. Please don’t ask me how. My attention span is worse than a hummingbird. He looks constipated and bleached throughout the movie for some reason. The story moves on to the shooting of a Hindi film where Himess reaches late coz he is not a hero but a superhero (somewhere Ironman, Superman, Batman and Captain America died a little inside). He doesn't rehearse, never puts on makeup,q never follows the script, doesn't shake hands and generally is not civil. In short, he plays a cocky son of a bitch who mouths corny dialogues instead of normal conversation. This will remind you of Akshay Kumar from Once upon a time in Mumbai Dobara. Cut to the slutty heroine accusing Mr Yo Yo ji of using her so he makes an I-AM-A-PIMP face and asks her to go to hell. Mr Yo Yo ji says sorry with a Dairy Milk and proposes to Jesse ji in a way that every girl will remove that part of a love story from her wish list forever. So next, on one side of the set, Himes, another shah bhai and slutty heroine are shooting for Ujwal Nirmal Sheetal (I know you all are thinking about that white saree scene now) and on the other side; good heroine is shooting for another film Reena Mera Naam. There is a fire on that set and Himes bhai rushes there to save the good heroine. Now the good heroine is so mad in love that she quits smoking for him. But Himes who is also in love continues to hold an unlit cigarette throughout coz he is simply mad.

Yo Yo is now caught because he gave the same music for two films and he laughs like a lunatic. I don’t know why. You also please don’t try and figure out why. Now both the shitty films release on the same day. In spite of the transparent wet white saree playing the lead in the movie, Ujwal Nirmal Sheetal flops because the director of the other movie plays dirty tactics with the help of Irrfan Khan. Now, a very angry Himes bhai calls up that director and threatens him by telling him a medical condition he has, he pees more blood than the director has in his body. (UTI, bro). Now there is a post award The Great Gatsbhai themed party where the slutty heroine seduces Himes. He tells her he is a 40 year old virgin like Salman and refuses to even friend zone her. Then begins a song where everyone looks high as shit and dancing to ice cream khaungi. (I am trying hard to not crack jokes on that). Courtesy puraani dushmani, the actresses trash talk and start a catfight (yay!) and the good girl’s ex breaks it up (nay). Cut to the scene where the slutty heroine falls off the roof. We have come to the beginning now. Now this scene has been played over 300 times in the move for no reason. Next we see the funeral scene again where her coffin is buried in the graveyard. The coffin looks like it has been designed by Maganlal Dresswala. The question arises, who did it? Who? Do I give a shit? Obviously No!

Now I dare you to watch this movie. I double dare you to watch it till the end because I didn't. If you manage to sit till the end and tell me who did it, I promise I will take you out for dinner. If you are a fan of Himesh or Yo Yo for any reason, I will take you to a shrink

P.S. My guess is, that the killer is the person who doesn't wear a Fedora. Now go figure. 

Madras Cafe Review : - A must, must watch

     Madras Cafe is a political espionage film set in parts of India and Sri Lanka. The film starts off at the back drop of the Sri Lankan Prime Minister assassination. Major Vikram Singh (John Abraham) confesses the incident in his career that changed the face of Indian politics and his life. Thus begins Madras Cafe in a flashback narration. It dates back to about 3 years before the assassination of a former Indian Prime Minister. The Sri Lankan civil war fought between LTF and the Sri Lankan military was disrupting the politics and economy of the country.  Thousands of innocent civilians lost their lives. Indian peace-keeping forces were made to intervene leading to a loss of many hundreds of soldiers. After the Indian peace-keeping forces were made to withdraw, Vikram Singh was appointed by a key bureaucrat Siddharth Basu (Robin Dutt (RD)) in the intelligence agency RAW to head operations in Jaffna much to the disparity of his wife Ruby (Raashi Khanna). Thus begins his journey to Sri Lanka and back getting entwined and entangled in unjust military politics. He meets British wars correspondent Jaya Sahni (Nargis Fakhri) who intrepidly wants to reveal the truth and politics behind wars. In Jaffna, Major Vikram Singh is reporting to Bala (Vikram Belawadi). In his peace keeping attempts at Jaffna, Major Singh falls prey to bureaucracy and discovers traitors in his own organization. Whom to trust or not? And how this war leads to the assassination of our Ex-Indian Prime Minister is solely left for Major Singh’s and his team to investigate. How Major Singh manages to uncover the truth at the cost of his own life being trampled is how the movie goes forth.

              The writing is fresh and mature at the same time. A very difficult feat to achieve. The screenplay is multifaceted yet comprehensible. The age old belief of a film being good only if it's ambiguous in certain aspects is well broken by the screenplay of Madras Cafe. At no point the audiences are left with loose ends or questions as to what is going on. There is suspense and edge of the seat flow in the movie, yet no anticlimaxes. At one point you want to hold your head and say I wish this didn't happen or this could have been averted. This is what I said. 

           The performances are given justified screen space which is another very good thing about this movie. There are no star obsessed scenes and each character carves a niche in his or her own screen space. Whether it is the LTE chief Anna (Ajay Rathnam) or the Tamil Rebel, Leena Maria Paul, each character leaves a mark on your mind. There are no songs (Yes!) that tarnish the magnitude of this movie (Thanks a ton for that, I literally cringe when a movie breaks in to a song for no reason). John Abraham does full justice to his role and hats off to him for producing a movie on a sensitive topic like this. Nargis Fakhri and Raashi Khanna have a short yet concise role in the movie and they do full justice to what is required. 

         Last but not the least, the director Shoojit Sircar's artistic visualization and creativity adds the touch of ultimate class and crispness in this film. It turns out to be a spectacular treat for the audience and you are left with a lasting impact.  Not just a must watch, you better-book-your-tickets-right-away-watch. Take a bow, Mr Sircar :)

       The story is meshed up between facts and fiction. Still, it manages to paint a very clear picture in our minds about the incident that changed the face of Indian politics over two decades ago. This film is a very bold attempt at political cinema. There are some stories that must be told and some that should not. This film borders at the very edge at the times of censorship and controversies stirring up at the drop of a hat. I just hope more and more filmmakers are encouraged to make such movies. This isn't off beat cinema, this is quality cinema.

Rating: - 4/5

Raanjhnaa: - A movie that will truly touch your heart

The heart of this story, a witty little kid Kundan is the son of a Tamil priest living in Varanasi. It was love at first sight when he saw the angelic little Muslim girl Zoya, the daughter of a professor. The love grows as the little boy turns into the Banarasi Babu Kundan (Dhanush). The teenage school love never seemed so endearing as it does portrayed by Kundan. One fateful day, under the influence of the movie Saajan, Kundan gathers some bro-couragement from his friend Murari (Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub) to approach Zoya (Sonam Kapoor) and then gets slapped. 15 times. She finally caves in to meet him as his "consistency" impressed her. As she falls for him, the family of the girl finds out and sends her off to Aligarh. Kundan is shocked and promises Zoya that he will wait for her. 8 years pass. Zoya gets into JNU and life changes for her. Kundan is still the same small town boy still waiting for his childhood love despite of the advances of his childhood friend Bindiya (Swara Bhaskar). Bindiya is madly in love with Kundan and has an eternal hope of marrying him. When Zoya returns back to Varanasi, Kundan gets the rude shock that Zoya is in love with a student leader Akram (Abhay Deol). Kundan swears to get over Zoya and get married to Bindiya on the same day as Akram marries her. Then, with a dramatic twist, life changes for everybody and the love turns deplorable. 

The story is very fresh and yet has an old world charm to it. A realistic love story after ages, if I may say. The film is written by Himanshu Sharma, the writer of Tanu Weds Manu, another simple and warm film. This film is much evolved than Tanu Weds Manu, both directed by Anand L. Rai. The film touches your heart in every way possible. It has some gem of dialogues that will have claps from the front seats to the last ones. Very difficult to achieve. The music isn't again thrown in but blends with the movie. A. R. Rahman has fused in soulful tracks with Banarasi flavor in it. The film is slightly sluggish towards the end but makes up to the viewers with some intense performances. Sonam Kapoor looks ethereal and gives one of her best performances till date. I guess no other contemporary of her could have managed to give such an intense yet effortless performance. I am personally a critic turned fan now. Dhanush shines through the movie. His comic timing, intensity and sheer effortlessness with an endearing South Indian accent is the highlight of this film. I wouldn't say he has an amazing depth but he has a lot conviction in what he doesn. Abhay Deol with very little to do still manages to carve a niche as he always does. The supporting cast also has done a wonderful job. 

Move over cotton candy romance. This film is made from the heart and pierces right through the viewer's. I eat my words and not ashamed of it, this movie is a must watch.

Rating: - 3.5/5 

Heroine:- Glossy mash up of Dirty Picture, Fashion and Page 3

If your are expecting an aesthetic movie dealing with the emotional baggage of a Bollywood film actress and a Diva, then stay home. This is not what you are actually getting. Heroine is a thorough commercial masala movie. Sadly, this movie goes into a loop of never ending ordeal of an actress. Just when you see some spark of depth in the movie, it goes back 15 minutes and you sit there thinking what the hell is going on.

Starting off as a typical dark-face-of-fame moment, the movie gives a lot to look forward to. But as the movie moves on, you get a feeling of déjà vu. The film is completely soaked in clichéd moments. The moments which you have seen and read hundreds of times. Till the first half of the film, there is no depth and novelty in the film. Once the second half of the film begins, there is some kind of innovations introduced. There are some very good moments where you can see the Bhandarkar brand of direction, but again towards the end, you are thoroughly disappointed with loose ends in the story and abrupt ending of the movie. This movie will be a commercial hit for sure, but to be honest, it is nothing like what we all are expecting it to be.

Casting is near perfect. Arjun Rampal and Randeep Hooda have managed to cleverly cut their sliver off the movie carved only for Kareena. Kudos to them. Rest of the supporting cast of Ranvir Shorey, Shahana Goswami, Lilitte Dubey and Helen which were kept under wraps, shine through in their little but important roles in the movie. Lucky mascots Atul Kulkarni and Manoj Joshi were missing from Bhandarkar's most awaited and expensive venture yet. Rest of the few casts were shuffled from his last few movies. Yawn. Technically the film is a treat to watch, with good music, cinematography and crisp editing. Although I personally wanted the movie to extend just 10 more minutes to tie up the loose ends and give some insight but it didn't. Disappointed again.

A special mention to Kareena Kapoor who has single handedly managed to pull off the movie with a good story and weak script. She has given her 200% in the movie proving yet again why she is the highest paid actress and a brand herself. Playing the role of Bipolar disorder affected, alcoholic actress Mahi Arora, who has failed in her relationships as well as her career is a real tough nut to crack. She is the only reason why you will sit through the entire film since her presence just doesn't let you budge from your seats. He styling is very chic and international. She looks every inch the vulnerable, troubled soul unaware of her own beauty and charm. There are moments where you hate her, there are moments where you love her. And there are just moments. Some moments which pierces right inside you. Watch her out in the scene where she haplessly says yes to social appearances like weddings just because she has nothing else to do. Watch this movie only for Kareena.

All hardcore Madhur Bhandarkar fans are going to term this movie as a thorough disappointment. It's hard to believe that is the same director has made cult films like Satta, Chandni Bar, Page 3, Corporate, Traffic Signal and Fashion. And now Heroine, a film that fails to evoke any emotion or even reaction from the audience. The film literally sinks to rock bottom if it wasn't for Kareena's memorable portrayal of the complicated grey character of Mahi Arora. If you have not seen Madhur Bhandarkar's earlier movies, this movie might be a little new for. But his fans are not really going to like it. Watch this film only for Kareena's efforts and her sheer ethereal presence in the movie.

2.5/5:- 2 for Kareena and 1/2 for a handful moments of depth. 

Barfi!-Happy tears :') tch tch :')

Barfi! is another masterpiece created by Anurag Basu. After his last film Kites failed to impress me enough, Barfi! is simply a treat to watch. Barfi! is a light hearted movie which is entertaining and endearing to the core.  It paints the lives of specially abled individuals with the hues of their hidden emotions bringing out a painting which simple leaves you in awe of the painter with few happy tears trickling down your cheeks.

The technical aspects of the movie score a perfect 10. Shot in the exotic locations of Darjeeling, the film has a very refreshing feel to it. The cinematography by Ravi Varman has captured the essence of Darjeeling and blended it into the film beautifully. The film in spite of having an otherwise artistic essence, it doesn’t really get monotonous thanks to the wonderful direction and cinematography. The music is again very subtle and not blaring on your face for no apparent reason, so is the background score. A cute track Picture Chaalu plays in the beginning of the movie. Rest of the songs are melodious and the song Phir le aaya dil is going to linger in your mind for a long time. The costumes are again very subtle and apt for the characters as well as the locales. Few portions of the film were shot in Kolkata, set in the rains and puchkas, they’ve played a pivotal role in the film. The editing somehow could have been a little better. That is the only complaint I have. About 15 minutes shorter, the film could’ve achieved the not-a-single-dull-moment feat successfully. However, there are no disappointing or ambiguous parts in the narration of the movie done by Ileana D'Cruz. Anurag Basu has finally moved away from his dark direction genre to a light hearted and funny one. It’s not fair to term it as a Romcom but yeah on a broader scale it definitely has its share of romantic and funny moments. The humour is again very clean and comes solely from the endearing antics of Ranbir Kapoor. Surprisingly, the story has a pinch of every genre in it, romance, comedy, suspense and also a bit of juvenile funny action.

The actors are truly the soul of the movie. Ranbir Kapoor has always pleasantly surprised his audience with his mature performances in movies like Wake Up Sid, Rocket Singh and of course my favorite film Rockstar. This film is no exception. In fact you can say that he has raised the bar for himself and also for other newbies around him. Watch out, the Kapoor kid is here to stay. He plays Barfi, a deaf and mute guy staying in Darjeeling. He is full of life and pranks. He has so much of positive energy around him which immediately lights up everyone’s lives. Everyone associated with Barfi loves him. Even the fat and mean cop Saurabh Shukla who is always out to nab Barfi due to his innocent robberies, has a tiny soft corner for him. Barfi falls in love with Ileana D’cruz (Shruti), who moves to Darjeeling with her family. Shruti is sensible and a simple girl who has been under constant influence of her family’s decisions more than hers. Ileana plays the perfect coy and sensitive Bengali girl. She has her moments of realizations leading her to show of strength. She fits perfectly in the role essayed for her. Short lived romance with Shruti and a heartbreak leads to Barfi getting depressed and landing up in undesirable circumstances where he reconciles with his childhood friend Priyanka Chopra (Jhilmil). Jhilmil is an autistic girl from a rich affluent family where Barfi’s father works as a driver. How the friendship turns to love with Barfi caught in the middle of emotional crises is when the story beautifully unfolds. Priyanka here has swept me off my feet. No actress in this time and age would have the guts to pull off a role like this, at least not her contemporaries. At her endearing best, she deserves a special recognition for this. Watch out how she manages to outshine Ranbir towards the end of the movie. You don’t really cry or feel sorry for this autistic girl in love with a deaf and mute guy, but you can’t escape the sheer innocence of their love at the same time. The magical aspect of this movie is that just when you are about to cry feeling appalled for the innocent Barfi and Jhilmil, they manage to light up a smile on your face in one way or the other. Minimal and brilliant dialogues yet again prove that Silence is Golden. The rest of the story will be under wraps because I want you and watch it. Like NAAOOWW J

All in all, Barfi! is an extremely heart warming film you must go and watch.

Rating:-4/5

Cocktail - Perfect blend of Love, Friendship and Fun

What would the desi version of Vicky Christina Barcelona look like? Cocktail is the answer. Not exactly a rip off but the plot looks more or less the same. After the offbeat psychological drama film Being Cyrus, Homi Adjania has attempted a light hearted RomCom flick, which has been pulled off quite well. The seductress falls for the ultimate casanova who is in confused for his feelings for the distressed miss goody two shoes. Sigh.

Cocktail begins with the sketching of the cheesy character Gautam Kapoor (Saif Ali Khan) who is staying in London with his uncle Randhir Kapoor (Boman Irani), who is an equally colourful man married to a British woman. Gautam is the guy your mom warns you of. A guy any good girl would helplessly fall for because of his charming persona. He is goofy, nice at heart, wild, romantic, sensitive and a womanizer. All the wonderful shades of his character are beautifully unveiled in the due course of the movie. Cut to Meera Gupta (Diana Penty), the introvert, desi damsel in distress. She is a victim of being lured into a hoax marriage by Kunal Ahuja (Randeep Hooda), who conveniently abandoned Meera and absconded to London. She is a beautiful, intelligent and the typical girl any mom would want to take home. She comes to London looking for her husband who shoos her away mercilessly telling her he is going to divorce her in a couple of weeks. Enter Veronica D’costa (Deepika Padukone), the ultimate spoilt kid and a victim of neglected upbringing. She is brash, sultry yet pratical. She proudly carries the I-DON’T-GIVE-A-DAMN attitude and throws it on others just like that. One moment you like her and the other moment you detest her, but you can’t escape her charm. She is the girl Mammas boys stay away from. She meets Meera at a utility store’s restroom. Appalled by Meera's husband’s conning her, she takes her home and lets her stay as long as she wants too. There begins a friendship so strong yet so much fun. The camaraderie captured between two people who are poles apart is just impeccable. Gautam enters their life and joins in the fun when he starts dating Veronica. The threesome fun-some have a blast in this “Frenaissance“, with each of their feeling cut sorted in its right place. No feelings or complications until Gautam , who is 32, keeps dodging of the marriage talks with his homely typical Punjabi mom Kavita Kapoor (Dimple Kapadia).  Tired of these never ending questions he decides to fake a serious relationship with the help of his uncle Randhir. Kavita aunty lands up at their house and mistakes Meera to be Gautam’s girlfriend. The mom is impressed and she starts the melodramatic scenes of the typical kada-for-my-soni-bahu, etc. There begins a series of complications and moments of family love yearning where Gautam and Meera fall for each other and on the other hand Veronica is dreaming of a normal life that she can have with Gautam forgetting the fact that they had both agreed to just have a fling. She realizes how much she loves him and how much she wants to be like Meera. The rest of the movie drags a bit and becomes predictable but definitely not boring.

The story is repetitive yet interesting to watch since its portrayal is very new. The dialogues are good but some are cheesy to the core. The songs are catchy and put in at the right moments. Tumhi Ho Bandhu and Yaariyan are the ones you’ll hum along. Background score by Salim Sulaiman is very apt for the story. The styling in the movie is refreshing and trendy. Watch out for a lot of Meera from Cocktail  trend catching up just like the Meera from Love Aaj Kal  trend.

The casting is perfect. All the actors have given their 100 % to the character and the film definitely doesn’t lack anything when it comes to performances. Saif Ali Khan with his endearing performance makes you forgive and forget his last disaster Agent Vinod.  Diana Penty looks fresh and promising but still seems stiff at times. Deepika Padukone, unexpectedly, has given her best performance in this movie. The movie is a pleasant blend of fun, love, friendship and humour, which is exactly what everybody is expecting from it. Give this Cocktail a try, u won’t regret it. J

Rating :- 3/5

Bol Bachchan- Pure entertainer

Rohit Shetty has done it yet again. Bol Bachchan is nothing short of a masala puri, tasty and light. The official remake of cult classic Golmaal, has joined the ranks of his previous releases All the Best and Golmaal, which personally were my favourites. I was a little disappointed with Golmaal Returns and Golmaal 3 but definitely impressed with Singham, a movie that marked Rohit Shetty as an ace in the genre of action.

The film is shot extensively in the exotic locations of Rajasthan. It starts of as a run of the mill needy-family-meets-influential-rich-family story and the characters are later skilfully blended into it. The film has a consistent and strong plot which is the icing of this very funny cake.  Abbas Ali (Abhishek Bachchan) lives in Delhi with his sister Sania (Asin Thottumkal). They are legally fighting for an ancestral property which they lose. Shastri Chacha (Asrani), a family friend, advices Abbas and Sania to temporarily move to his village Ranakpur where he assures Abbas that he will get him a job at his owner's place. The owner is an English and honesty loving, bullet riding; Aviator glasses sporting, powerful Prithviraj Raghuvanshi (Ajay Devgn). Once they land up in Ranakpur a chain of events leads to chaos and misinterpretation about Abbas’s identity which keeps snowballing into one big, fat innocent lie. In the middle of this “Golmaal”, Abbas falls in love with Radhika (Prachi Desai), Prithviraj’s sister. She becomes his confidante and from here, starts the topsy-turvy journey of a single person acting as two different entities. The cover up and goof ups leading to the truth uncovering is one heck of a hilarious journey.  

The casting is perfect to the T.  Ajay Devgn plays his bit with so much ease that you literally forget he is the same actor who played the intense Singham in his last release.  His English will leave you in splits as much as they have in the promos. The movie is 10 fold of that, rest assured.  His comic timing is impeccable and you can’t help but laugh even when he turns into a scary angry man. Abhishek Bachchan has put in his heart and soul in the movie, giving a tough competition to Devgn’s comic timing. This movie should hopefully shut all AB Jnr’s critics up. Personally being his hardcore fan, this film was a treat for me. Krushna Abhishek in his bit has been a hilarious contribution to the entire fun filled madness of the movie. Archana Puran Singh was again good but a little overboard with her expressions which were not required. Asin and Prachi have played their part well. Prachi Desai looks gorgeous and kudos to her stylist for bringing in a fresh air of fashion for the viewers.  The pace of the movie is good. The screenplay is crisp and clean. Music is average and thankfully not thrown in needlessly. The madras cut action and Shetty’s trademark blowing up of cars make up for entertaining action sequences in the movie. 

The best thing done while promoting the movie is that they have not let out the core hilarious scenes of the movie which adds to the shock value and humour quotient of the move. After a long time, I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute of a movie. Again the humour is clean and situational. The story moves very sensibly and you don’t no brainer moments. Watch out for Abhishek Bachchan. HE WILL SURPRISE YOU AND LEAVE YOU IN SPLITS. 

The end kind of disappointed me a bit. The film loses the comic grip turning to the tried and tested formula of climax in Hindi movies. The usual chaos and happy realization moments turn a tad boring. They can be forgiven as rest of the movie is simple superb. Definitely, a through entertainer.  Go book your tickets now J

Shanghai- Caustic, honest and in your face Movie.

This film made me curious and eager right from the first promo that was out. This film is not here to make you cry. This film is not here to make you laugh. This film is here to make you think. It stands right there in your face. This film hits you hard at the little patriotic corner of your heart.  It makes you cringe and feel helpless. This film doesn’t say anything that we don’t know of, but says things that we brush under the carpet. Things we all know but are scared to talk about. Things we read about. Things we feel helpless about.

The film, adapted from the novel ‘Z’, given a soul by Dibaker Banerjee and Urmi Juvekar (screenplay), starts off with a backdrop of political hooliganisms happening in the undeveloped town of Bharat Nagar. The Chief Minister of the State, Supriya Pathak as Madamji, is worshipped by her party workers who are nothing but a group of self proclaimed social reformists called the Morcha, working for the “PRAGATI” of the town. The hooliganism cutting to seemingly innocent and visually negligible characters played by Pitobash Tripathy as Bhagu and Anant Jog as Baggu, keep you hooked on the screen for a couple of minutes without realizing what exactly they are up to. Cut to Emraan Hashmi as Jogi Parmar, an adult film maker. He is rusty, evil, but a cheapskate with a heart.  He seems like a guy who will indulge in any immoral activity for a dime. You will yet not despise him. His ‘STD blocked hai’ line will make him endearing to you for a moment. This film then moves on to Abhay Deol as T.A Krishnan, the regular Tamil Brahmin intelligent bureaucrat you will come across. The ex IIT alumni is a man with high morals. He is applauded as one of the most sought after officials in the bureau.  Cut to Prasenjit Chatterjee, the soul of the film, playing Dr Ahmedi. He is a socialist professor and political activist. He is out to save the bustling city of Bharat Nagar from an upcoming infrastructure project backed by the ruling political party that will wipe out the existence of the local population. In spite of death threats, warnings foreseen by his adheren, Kalki Kochlein as Shalini Sahay, Dr Ahmedi lands up in Bharat Nagar. Dr Ahmedi looks out for Shalini and the chemistry between them has a short span on screen but it is captured enough to let you into their world. Fate turns around for everyone when Dr Ahmedi is attacked in the middle of a crowd of more than 100 people and the attack is masqueraded as an accident. His wife, Tilotama Shome, lands up in Bharat Nagar to be by her husband’s side. Farooq sheikh as Kaul, Principle Secretary at the CM’s office, leads on T.A Krishnan and sends him to Bharat Nagar to investigate into the “accident”. To write the incident off as Police force negligence, lack of co-ordination in the force, a premeditated murder or just an accident, is left at Krishnan hands for disposal. In terms of on camera, the movie is swept off by Abhay Deol. The seemingly harmless humble man is the surprise element of the movie. In this chaos of uncovering the truth and investigation, Krishnan uncovers the multi faceted ruling party that seemed as a sheer facade with shocking revelations which you ought to see in the movie. The last 5 minutes of the movie is going to leave an impact on you. And the last 30 unspoken seconds actually says it all. Trust me. But that, I am not going to tell u ;)

The movie has an amazing stability in the script. No loose ends. Nothing is left unexplained, yet nothing is explicit. You are going to figure crucial bits of the movie yourself. The editing is done aptly making it short, crisp and cut almost to perfection. The costume designing by Manoshi Nath and Rushmi Sharma is tailor made for the characters, literally. The music by Vishal and Shekhar is just right for the flavour of the movie. The songs aren’t thrown in just for the heck of it, including the item song Imported Kamariya.

The real star of the movie is Dibakar Banerjee. His realistic direction yet again leaves you gasping for more. He keeps it simple and sensible. That’s one thing you will see in his last releases too. Either Khosla ka Ghosla or LSD, Oye Lucky Lucky Oye or Shanghai, the unfeigned attempt at movie making is reflected in every frame of the movie. Standing ovation is what he deserves. The only complaint I have is that there were obvious differences in the re runs of the most crucial scene of the movie. In every rerun the scene looks different though it is the same. Spot it if you can once you see the movie. Other than that, it’s absolutely worth watching, again and again AND AGAIN. Superb, mind blowing movie of the year!!!! GO WATCH IT NOW!!!!

Rating-4/5

Department-The funniest movie of the year

First things first, this review is nothing like a professional or an unbiased review. So don’t expect me to be nice. This post is actually my frustration jotted down in a very subtle way. Trust me, very subtle. I missed an exotic lunch for this. I wasted 3 precious hours of my life for this. I gave up watching Ishaqzaade for this. I risked my mental peace simply because I used to be a diehard RGV movie fan. Sadly, neither I am a RGV fan anymore nor a Sanjay Dutt fan. Curtains came down for me today.

This film starts off with Inspector Shivnarayan (Rana Daggubatti), an encounter specialist, running in slow motion wearing a police uniform, giving u a feeling of multiple déjà vu. There is a loud fight scene and then the movie moves on to Mahadev Bhosale (Sanjay Dutt), the DSP of an encounter squad. Again, there is a loud fight scene in a bar/naked stoned chicks dancing place. By now, if your ear drums are intact, the movie moves on to a weird man talking in the background about Mumbai and a shootout scene at Juhu beach. Shivnarayan is suspended and Mahadev asks him to join the department. Honestly speaking, if you really don’t concentrate like you did in your math classes, you are never going to figure out which department this is. I’ll tell you, they do dishum dishum and dhichkau dhichkau. That’s the frigging department. You’re welcome for the valuable piece of information I shared. Anyways. Moving on, somewhere in the background, there are 2 poor ladies thrown in the movie, Bharati (Anjana Sukhani) as Shivnarayan's wife and Padmini (Lakshmi Manchu) as Mrs Mahadev Bhosale. Their only screen space in the movie is to make dinner and dialogues like “uff aap sirf kaam ki baatein karte rahoge kya??” which are effed up and clichéd to the core. Also, they provide moral cleansing speeches in the movie. Moving on, the cops start the baddie hunting and killings. Cut to Sawatya (Vijay Raaz), a semi clad Mumbai Don, who by the way is the most malnourished don ever. EVER. His henchman is D.K. (Abhimanyu Singh) and his gun moll Naseer (Madhu Shalini) who is a really filthy looking creature, not a girl, CREATURE. The Sawatya gang scenes are insanely hilarious; they talk like struggling dons from UP somehow adapting to the life in Mumbai and the city’s accent. Cut to Mr Sarjerao Gaikwad, a gangster-turned politician played by the living legend (I am still in tears for RGV wasting an actor like him). How could Mr Bacchan stoop to such a level? Was he kidnapped and threatened to do this movie?? Maybe. He should end this friendship favors immediately. RGV is killing his career(remember RGV ki aag?? okay okay don't cry now, it's okay) . Mr Sarjerao walks with his hands on the waist like a Assamese Bihu dancer and ties a bell around his hand which keeps reminding you what to say when people ask “movie achha tha kya?”  The moral tiff between Mahadev and Shivnarayan takes the film to a different tangent and then you lose like what is 20 years of your life. The movie just drags. Horribly long. One spoiler, you are not going to see the true villain till the end, which makes you want to shoot yourself right in the head. The ending was very predictable though I don’t know who is going to have the threshold to hold on till the end. That person will get a special standing ovation and a round of slow clap from me. Promise!!!!

The camera work is pathetic. It moves so much and pans deep into tea cups, shoes, chairs, eyes, foot, toenails, also on every objectionable place in the body. It gives you migraine attacks because the camera keeps moving and makes your head spin for no apparent reason. The fight scenes make you laugh like hell. The item song about sugar girl is irritating and she dances as though she get convulsions by the second. The semi naked mad woman gives a nirvana expression when she is passed around like a plate of appetizers by men. Nauseating.The cuss words in the movie are very less compared to the cuss words I hurled at the screen. The song with Ganesh Acharya made me almost cry. He looks like rotten, darkened Bappi Lehari in it. There are some dirty scenes in the movie with Abhimanyu Singh and the moll girl/slut that makes you throw up; I really wanted to ask for a paper bag in the movie. The surprise package is Deepak Tijori, with only three fourth of his eyebrows and beautiful kajal adorned eyes. The dialogues seem like written by someone with some imbalance in the grey cells with a sole ambition of screwing the audience's senses. There is one which is "duniya mein sirf do tarah ke log hote hai, ek samajhdar aur dusre ch*****". After paying money for this movie, you discover which category you belong to. Sanjay Dutt disappoints you horribly and all you want to do is grab him by the neck, hurl him somewhere and show him Vastav on a DVD. Rana Daggubatti has made an honest effort to save the movie which falls flat on the face. Someway I am going to hunt RGV down, pluck each of his hair out, make him bald and take 300 bucks from him. To tell him what slow pain is and how you feel when you pay for it. Horrible man. He is going to hell for sure.

Final Verdict: Honestly speaking this movie is insanely hilarious in a sadly unintentional way. I’ve never had so much fun in a movie theatre and never have I behaved like a tapoori yelling bhag jaa saale kutte every 2 seconds. (Other cuss words spoken cannot be mentioned here) Don’t watch it even if you are being taken away on a gun point. Dying is better. I swear!!!

P.S (For girls) Rana looks incredibly hot in the movie. Every scene he is on, is a treat for the eyes. Paisa wasool girls (wink wink).
P.S (For all) Anybody helping me to marry Rana Daggubatti will get half the amount of gold that I am going to wear on the wedding day. Thank you.

Review of Vicky Donor

The film starts off at a slow pace. Dr Chaddha (Annu Kapoor) plays an infertility specialist. The typical emotions of childless couples are treated with a lot of thought yet not heavy on the heart. In the midst of his chaos to find a perfect sperm donor, he bumps into Vicky Arora (Ayushmann Khurrana). A typical aviator shades sporting cool Punjabi dude. He has portrayed the role of Vicky with a lot of conviction. His acting is just effortless. He just breezes through the movie and sweeps you off your feet with his cute boyish charm. His antics are just adorable. Vicky puttar needs a job to earn respect because he has no interest in his family business. The whole Punjabi family scenes are hilarious. His widowed mother (Dolly Ahluwalia) and his Grandmother (Kamlesh Gill) are the surprise package in the movie which I will keep mum about. Go figure it out yourself!!!!

Dr Chaddha does his best to convince Vicky to be a sperm donor. He eventually agrees because he has a heart and needs money. The bonding between Dr Chaddha and Vicky develops with time. Vicky is earning well and his family has no idea how. The childless couples are blessed with babies so the noble deed has paid off.

He falls for Ashima Roy (Yami Gautham) a divorcee, working in a bank. She plays an independent and practical Bengali girl. She has essayed the character almost perfectly. For her first movie, she has an amazing mellowness in her acting. Their chemistry is appealing. She has no idea what Vicky Arora’s "handicrafts" business actually is. Pani da rang sung by Ayushmann will be stuck in your mind for a while. They decide to get married and the family drama begins. The family chaos is kept short and amusing which entertains you to the core. The wedding scenes are insanely hilarious. The blend of Bengali subtlety and Punjabi spirit is beautiful. The Bong transition to the Punjabiyon di masti with the song Rum Whisky, will have you in splits. After the happy wedding, comes a bad news which changes everything for the couple.

This movie gets a little slow & predictable towards the end, but it’s definitely not boring. Shoojit Sircar has ensured it doesn’t. The subject is treated in a sensitive yet entertaining way. It will not make you cringe or uncomfortable even once.

In an era of films where even a looking at someone can be made vulgar (enter akshay kumar’s shitty aiieeh aiieeh in houseful 2), this film is clean and good. Go watch it now if you haven’t seen it yet. Go now!!!!!

Rating-3/5 

Review of Kahaani

Kahaani-A mother of a story

The promos of Kahaani give u a very different kind of aura about the film. The film is nothing like what you predict. Since the debacle of Sujoy Ghosh's last two films at the box office, Home Delivery and Alladin, this film turns around the tables for this director. This film has an ease to it which is the best part of Sujoy’s direction which made his first venture Jhankaar Beats a treat to watch.

 The film begins in a very different way which builds up the mystical angle around the film. It shows a parallel incident which gives no mention of the lead characters. Vidya Balan (Vidya Bagchi) plays pregnant NRI from London, a techie by profession and also a southie married to a Bengali. She is looking simply beautiful. Just beautiful is the word.  She again raises the bar for the female leads post The Dirty Picture and proves her mettle as an actress who can pull off a film on her own which appeals to the masses and the classes. Mrs Vidya Bagchi is looking for her missing husband who had come to Kolkata for an assignment with the National Data Centre. She goes straight to the police station form the airport.  She meets a cop there, Parambrata Chattopadhyay (Rana). Parambrata plays a cop with a heart. He accompanies Mrs Bagchi looking for clues, interrogating people, protecting her from the bad guys, just about everywhere.  The character of Rana has a variety of tints to it. U like him a minute and at times you don’t. The friendship between Mrs Bagchi and Rana develops as the movie advances and the chemistry is just right. As the movie continues, a host of clues and mysteries unfold making u sit almost at the edge of your seat. The end is unpredictable and by far the one of the best I have seen in Indian cinemas. Nothing is left to the imagination of the audiences. The end is cut just clean and crisp.

Every character in the movie has amazing clarity to its shade. The casting is just perfect and easy to decipher. Be it Indraneil Sengupta(Arnab Bagchi), the tough cop Khan played by Nawazzudin Siddiqui, the kids, a LIC agent who plays a contract killer, the guest house manager, the NDC employees, the IB agents. Everybody falls right in the picture. The cinematography is a little confusing in the beginning but stabilizes after a while. The editing is good and the minute before the interval is so going to freak you out. The chaos captured in Kolkata during Durga Puja is simply par excellence. There is confusion yet serenity etched in the chaotic scenes of Kolkata. The colours of Kolkata are sketched perfectly and blend well into the story. The styling is done perfectly. The music is minimal and put in at the right times.

A must watch people. I can already see this film taking away the best lead actress and the technical awards of this year.