Daily soaps bring tears to my eyes :’-(

Yes I know I am not the only one. Most of you out there hate daily soaps from the core of your heart.

They are stupid. They are annoying. They are a complete waste of time. I can keep going on like this. But I won’t, for the only reason that I have sworn not to use cuss words on my blog. Though cussing is thoroughly entertaining (:D), it’s definitely inappropriate. So I will express my innermost abhorrence in the most virtuous way I can.

The era of this shit saga started with Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi, followed by 9000 serials starting with ‘K’. The casting stayed put, one righteous bahu, one good family and one bad family, one vamp who wore noodle strap blouses and 3 feet long bindis with purple/blackish red lipstick, one handsome lead actor who had no idea what he was doing in the show and millions of other irrelevant people. background scores with hissing and weird jungle noises. they've ruined lot of bollywood tracks for me btw. The show starts off well and then the plot just drags. The good family lost all the "property" because of the vamp. The only way of revenge was to marry the baddie. One character dies and comes back in the most bizarre ways, questioning your intelligence (the shittiest thing ever in the history of Indian television). The housewives were so addicted that they had no idea if the hubby and kids are home, because Tulsi was gracing and occupying 80% of the screen. By Lord’s grace this era came to end couple of years ago and the families were happily back together.

Then came this era of social causes, it is still going on. Out came the “attyachar” on women. And finally people came to know what happens to women in Haryana and Rajasthan. Yes the “attyachar” includes rainbow coloured ghagras and mammoth sized jewellery usually adorned on elephants in Kerala. They sobbed and sobbed. And they sobbed. And they frigging just sobbed. And we had no life of our own.

This era also included the era of talent hunt shows. 70% of the population in India were wailing on national television, on some or the other channel. 25% percent of the population were cracking sick jokes, dancing and doing other “talented” acts. The other 5 % was bearing the brunt. So this 95% of the population demanded celebrities to come up to the stage and dance/sing/make faces with them. They were also fainting, crying and getting hugged by the judges. The judges also occasionally got up from their seats and went out for a smoke, the audience assumed it to be anger.(I am going to write a post dedicated to this shit very soon)

Then there were young rebelling boys and girls, wanting-to-get-stardom era of shows. Couples involved in infidelity, people wanting to date, exchanging parents, couples locked up in a house, Chandigarh Dilli ke road waale and people living in some shit villas. Includes all the badass channels here. All they did was abuse and yell; we couldn’t hear any (sadly). Then they yelled tune haath kasie lagaaya saale kutte / kutti. Then there were emotional breakdowns, where they ensured the tears came out anyhow. They might have poked their eyes themselves, but they managed to weep. And we managed to believe all the crap we were seeing.

And now, we have the simple-living-high-thinking era of shows. Same garish shit but wrapped with a garb of simplicity. Somehow these shows manage to catch some eyeballs and few dumb brains, it leads to the same iss baat pe party ho jaaye, tumhaari himmat kasie hui is tarah baat karne ki bullshit. The shows have stories involving cougar relationships, elderly couple’s “majburi” marriages, the other woman breaking house, young girl falling for an older man and other shitload of things. A lead couple made out on national television and made everybody uncomfortable, questioned our morals. And btw everybody is still watching the show simply because people are addicted to it.

I just miss my old meaningful entertainment like Hasratein, Just mohabbat, Tom and Jerry, Aahat, Hum Panch, Zee Horror show, Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai, Khichdi and the list can go and on. Back then television used to be a source of entertainment. Now it’s another trigger to my migraine condition :’(